Well, That Settles That....

So, on Friday I left work and was just cruising along when I see two guys racing it out with fart can Honda Accords. Usually I don't get involved but sometimes I do so I jump on it, drop my S2000 down to 3rd gear and start snapping gears. I rip past them both with ease and kinda ease up on the gas a little to see if they wanna play. Well, they don't both just backed off. So I keep rolling when all of a sudden coming off a highway ramp a new challenger appears. I know I am in TROUBLE with a capital T.

The "Trouble" i am talking about is a very slammed very fast modern super car. I can't even tell you what kind it was other than it was low, fast and made of about 90% carbon fiber. I am not talking about a hacked up civic with the faux carbon fiber wrap... no i am talking about the actual super car made completely of carbon fiber, baby seal tears and thousand dollar bills. So I keep on the throttle, lets see if they wanna play too. Sadly for me, they do.

As I rip past the super car they star running, we are in the front of everyone so I just keep on it. As a rule if there are other cars or we are in a populated area I don't run. Even if I don't care about my well being I am not going to cause harm to an unwilling participant in stupidity. But anyway we are free and clear and it is on like Donkey Kong. I am holding my own pretty good for running a stock 2005 Honda S2000. That is until I hear the growl of the super car's super charger as it kicks in I know I whipped. The mighty exhaust fumes spit out left over horse power and defeat onto my cars windshield as I get a real clear look at the monstrous 24" tires under the beast blasting past me. As we curl over a high overpass curve I see we are both running hard and he isn't even brushing the brakes on this bank curve. I get slightly loose and realize my race is over, I let off and concede. It didn't bother me so much since I was up against a 500k+ car. Win or lose it is always fun to me, I am always wearing a smile and running my best.

In the long run I solved the ancient unsolved mystery... using my "independent study" NO, a stock 2005 Honda S2000 can't beat a 2015 Super Car. And as G.I. Joe has taught us, knowledge is power.

How Many Barns Could There POSSIBLY BE?

So, a while back I first heard the term "Barn Find" and I was like "Wow, that's cool!"
Fast forward a few years and lets just say the Wannabe Hotrodder is a bit more skeptical of the term. Now, by nature I am a very skeptical person. Hell I typeset coupons for a living, disclaimers are in my blood. On the surface the whole premise of a true Barn Find is very interesting and exciting and brings out the inner Indiana Jones in us all. Imagine you happen upon a old forgotten dust filled barn, as the heavy door creaks open the sunlight sends a beam of glory on the time capsule of an unmolested antique car. Almost as if you carry the staff of Ra and you have found THE holy grail of cars (and don't worry, in my mind the car is ALWAYS the worlds greatest find not some run of the mill Nash). Doesn't that just bring a tear to your eye? Sure of course it does! Here is the rub... its all bullshit.

Lets look at the reality of it, barns are the perfect place for rodents, birds, snakes, all kinds of glorious insects and pretty much any other form of wildlife that would like to escape the outside to go. As a youngster I spent many a day slaving away for $1 per hour helping bail hay, barns are just tiny islands of dirt, dust and death. Not exactly a first choice to house an antique car.

Wanna guess the SECOND best place for said beasties to go? Yup, that antique car sitting inside the barn. Just sitting there all full of yummy stuffing and electrical wiring to chew on. At the very least it will be used early and often as the barns rodent outhouse. The other neat fact about cars that sit unused they just kinda rot into themselves. So, regular upkeep and care that everyday cars get from their owners a true "barn find" has been left to rot. They never show any of that on the reality shows created to prop up all this kind of craziness but trust me, a real barn find is going to stink like death and shit and pretty much every single part will be ceased up and total shit.

So why the big ruse by the reality shows and auction houses? What could possibly be the reason for everyone to completely lose their shit at the mere utterance of "Barn Find"? Simple answer is money. Reality shows sell a dream, they show cars being restored in an hour and they relish in the fact that so many viewers will honestly believe that there are incredible glorious rare cars just sitting in every barn across the nation. Might wanna think twice before approaching that farmer, they are often armed and usually drunk. In my opinion your time and money would be much better spend just finding an honest car from an honest hot rod enthusiast. Will it be perfect? Of course not, but there will probably be a lot less rat shit to clean up.