Maybe I Need To Evaluate My Strategy

 

War Inside My Head

So, I went to an auto auction in Zepherhills Florida last weekend. I woke up early and drove over with a pocket full of cash and a mind full of dreams. As I walked the car corral I didn't see anything that really jumped out at me. There was a pretty wicked 67 Ford Gasser that looked like a beast until I opened the hood and saw it was all show and no go. Sorry bro, gassers are supposed to be smelly ugly beasts that have about as much engine hanging out of the hood as they do under it, not some lame ass 302 with a sad little 2 barrel carb. But whatever, it was early and I had the auction to go to.

As I sit down and look over the sheet to see which one of these little beauties would be taking my hard earned cash I noticed there was about 10 golf carts for sale, odd but whatever. Auctions are kinda like a rolling carnival of lawless oddities. In my little pea brain I am busy doing the internal math that will keep me in the good graces of the accounting department. Because the other interesting thing about Auctions is they pretty much charge everyone for everything, buyers premiums, sellers premiums... hell I think there is a "being alive fee" in there somewhere. After about 30 minutes of hearing the barker go over about a million things and plug everything under the sun he finally starts.

An elderly man sits next to me as the auction kicks off. He is writing everything down on his paper... what the bids go for and if they sell or not. Nothing is selling, i mean NOTHING. I look at him and say "what the hell is going on here?" He exclaims that for the most part only about 10% of the cars in an auction actually sell because everything carries a reserve price.

About 30 cars into this 60 car auction I have seen about all I need to see. Oddly enough the very thing that represents actual free market has perverted into complete and utter bullshit. Auctions should be the complete celebration of free market, wanna know what something is worth? Auction it off... what ever the crowd pays that is exactly what it is worth. Sadly, television and "reality TV" has once again reared its ugly head and created a fantasy world where 1967 Camaros are worth 120k and old British roadsters actually run. So, looks like my money and my effort will be better spent elsewhere. No more auctions for this wannabe hotrodder... time to hit the market and see what I can shake loose.

Why Velocity Channel WHY?

   So, I love the Velocity Channel but this weeks Wannabe Hotrodder installment is gonna have to rail against them. The Velocity Channel is a car guys cream dream but as of late I am a bit confused. See, there seems to be a very disturbing trend on the channel, they seem to relish in showing me glorious European roadsters from the 50s and 60s. Show after show dedicated to bringing me barn finds and auction house “deals” of multimillion dollar ferrari and lamborghini. Now, these truly are wonderful cars and have their place in auto history but, and this is a HUGE BUT, I don’t need every singe program to show me all these glorious million dollar cars that I could never own. More and more of the channels programming seems to be leaning toward this and I am not quite sure why? There are tons and TONS of awesome incredible custom cars and hotrods and all kinds of American automobiles that could be part of their programming.
    I don’t want this to be misconstrued as a knock against all those awesome technological marvels. They are freakin’ insanely awesome cars that most any car lover would be thrilled to own. The fact of the matter is I could take all the money that my entire family blood line has and will make for all time and that still wouldn’t be able to buy one, so why am I being shown these cars? I am this channels key demographic. Do they want me to like strive to be able to buy one? I can’t, and even if I did have the money I wouldn’t buy one because that kind of extravagant spending it ludicrous. So what is the end game of the programming? Do they set out to just make their viewers feel like crap? That doesn’t seem like sound programming.
   I guess in the end I just want the Velocity Channel to survive. I love it, and I hope it can stay relevant. Because I fear if it stays on its current trajectory it will fall the way of TechTV and the dodo bird. Just a distant memory of what could have been. Now show us some god damn muscle cars that the common man can relate to already!!!!

Does The Car Make The Man?

 

Suicidal Tendencies - Asleep At The Wheel

Okay so the WannaBe Hotrodder has a question for YOU... does the man make the car or does the car make the man? I suffer from wanting to many awesome cars. My dream cars range from a 32 hiboy to a 65 Shelby cobra (replica of course... I am not Bill Gates) to a crazy 70s Fiat Spyder to everything in between. I see so many kick ass hotrods and so much potential, all the while rarely thinking about the image aspect.

My main goal is to have a convertible light fast as hell car that sounds like death is coming with me. That could be about a million cars and that is my problem. For a while I was on an import kick, you know those bad ass Healeys with a nice 350 tucked away to surprise at the line or an MGs from the 50s and 60s? Those are cool but not much different from the import i am running now, just slower. If I drove one of those would I need to wear an ascot like Fred from Scooby Doo?

Then i think about a wicked cool corvette... but do I wanna be "that guy"? I LOVE LOVE LOVE the late 70s early 80s vettes. I think they are styled smooth as silk and run like a bat out of hell. BUT they come at a price, the price is everyone looks at you like you are a big douchebag. And other than a handful of people in this world i am generally NOT considered a douchebag. So can I own a vette and still be me?  Probably not. I don't really have many collars to pop and sadly I left my youth and the 80s long ago.

I already saw a HUGE difference in how I was treated on the road when I switched from my brutal looking hotrod black 1994 nissan D21 pickup that looked like something from Deathrace 2000 to my little roadster. People rarely crowded my back bumper when I drove the truck, they mostly covered the eyes and ears of their children and ran for cover. The S2k is always getting messed with, I often oblige.

I hate having to think about the perception a car puts off but the reality is I do. Now I have to search not only my meager bank account for errant funds but i must also search out my heart and soul for who I am. Who the hell am i anyway? Depends on the day... sometimes i am quiet and reserved, sometimes i am wild and crazy, sometimes I am drunk and rowdy... sometimes i am a strait up loon! I guess only time will tell what my hotrod will say about me, i hope we both do each other proud and "represent" (note the slang usage for "street cred"). So i guess mostly my car should be sarcastic? hmmm... well anyway gentle readers, only time will tell. Being a wannabe leaves the door open for anything. I look forward to new adventures. Come along with me!