The 900 Pound Rusty Gorilla In The Room

 

Rust In PEACE

Okay, as noted my last entry we need to talk about the current trend to take over the hotrod world... RAT RODS. Now, I beg you gentle reader please realize my opinions are not meant to be hurtful or flame worthy. Just my observations as seen through my little pea brain and expounded through the garbage heap that is the internet.

Greaserama car show in Kansas City last month really filled my veins with gasoline and lit the fire under my butt to get working on my hotrod plan. To be fair the "Hotrod Plan" consists of me saving money to buy a hot rod but "hotrod plan" sounds a bit more cool. The other thing I took away from the trip was although Rat Rods are very cool, much like everything else too much of a good thing kinda becomes a bad thing. What? has the wannabe hotrodder lost his mind? Please... read on...

For many many years car shows were basically fields upon fields filled to the brim with super shiny trailer queen cars that were basically kept behind glass. With sign after sign warning the attendee to not touch said trailer queen. That might float for a one of a kind Ferrari or Super Bee that truly is rare, please don't touch my "rare" 1967 Mustang not so much. Not hating on Mustangs but as I pointed out a few posts ago I am pretty sure you got a free Mustang with a large slurpee purchase in 1967. So as with most things the absurd brings a backlash. So much like punk music came along to murder disco, rat rods came along to murder the trailer queen. Just as punk then itself became the bloated joke of itself so too has "Rat Rods."

The first time one lays eyes on a true rusty ass wicked cool rolling work of art Rat Rod it turns your brain upside down. They are cooler than the other side of the pillow... from the cliche Jack Daniels radiator overflow bottle to the Pabst Blue Ribbon shift they are wacky cool fun. You walk away from that first exposure realizing you have been told a lie and hot rods can be unique and different and they don't always have to be perfect with that little time out dummy leaning against the overly shiny chrome bumper. The first exposure to a Rat Rod excited the car lover and changes your perspective. Fast forward a couple years and you start to realize that first Rat Rod you saw wasn't that innovative and was in fact bound by its own subset of rules for it to be "cool."

My hope is that the market re-adjusts itself back again but lands right in the middle. See, I dream of a world in which you can have a nice shiny hot rod AND drive it too. Imagine that world everyone, you can make a car fast and loud AND not worry about keeping it pristine. That is the happy medium, a car can be beat up and rusty and still be cool but creating fake patina or purposely wrecking something to make it look old and destroyed on purpose is kinda the same as buying a "relic'ed guitar" the hand made scars are fake corporate bullshit conceived to sell an image.

So for the sake of the hotrod world and car lovers everywhere... build your car and do the best you can. If your car gets a dent or scratch so be it, show your scars with pride but please don't ruin your car for a fad. Fads are cheap and soul-less.

So Many Options, So Many Choices... So Much Indecision!

 

When scheming to break into the world of hotrodding how you go about it makes all the difference. See, when shopping for “your hotrod” one way is to just save up some money and go out into the market with an idea of what you like and don’t like. Then you buy a hotrod. Fix it and drive and fix it and drive it, then sell it and wish you hadn’t. That is the most common way people get their hotrods.

I am taking a bit of a different approach. I am trying to narrow down what my goal is long before I make the actual leap into hotrod ownership. By goal I mean like what do I want to do with said hotrod. See, you can buy a car for looks or performance or to show up your neighbor or to get chicks. You can buy a car for just about as many reasons as there are cars, but when it comes to a Hotrod that is often a bit different that just buying a car.

The majority of trouble I have in seeing what my future hotrod is going to be is exactly what the hell is my goal? After driving my current Honda S2000 I can’t see my car having a solid roof anymore. The joy of owning a convertible roadster as a daily driver has forever changed my perception of what is an acceptable car. So first goal is it must be a convertible.

Another major goal is my hotrod has to be FAST. This one is a bit tricky because as eluded to in one of my earlier posts we are in the middle of one of the biggest horsepower wars in history. There are no less than 10 cars being put out right now that are faster than 80% of the “fast hotrods” out there. So how can you aspire to have a super fast hotrod when there are honda Accords out there that routinely smoke older heavier cars. One of the other drawbacks to aspiring to have a FAST hotrod is it is an unattainable goal, you can never be the fastest car out there. There is ALWAYS someone faster. So my goal needs to be realistic. So for my second goal by saying fast I mean, faster than 90% of the common cars out there. Will I be able to beat the crow or the murderstang? No, never but I will be able to put down the next civic with a fart canister muffler that thinks he is a race car driver.

So to review, Goal One needs to be a convertible. Goal Two needs to be fast. The third and final goal I am going to review today is a bit of a sticky situation. I restore a lot of things, old machines and old arcade stuff. After seeing what most people do to their possessions and how they “care for” their stuff I think trying to fix up an old car that has been beaten to shit might be a bit too much for me. I always wanted to buy a running car then work on it as I go to save money but that might not be possible. I am also a bit of a control freak in that I want things done RIGHT! By right I mean by my impossible standards. So that leaves me with buying a high end kit car and building it myself. That is actually the way I am leaning. Top contenders for this are Factory Five’s Shelby Cobra replica or a rolling chassis 1932 ford (there are like a million makers of these). The rub is a kit car is always just gonna be a kit car. But I guess going that route will appease my 3 major goals. But there are still a million options out there, and a million decisions to be made. Until next time, keep the rubber side down!

The Wannabe ULTRA-CUSTOM Hotrodder?

I gotta admit that although I love hotrods my heart truly lies with CUSTOMS. To me George Barris and Ed Roth were gods among men. If I could drive a bubble topped fiberglass spaceship to work every day I would. I have read a great deal about Ed Roth, I seem to have a fascination about him and his work. From going on various forums and websites about hotrods and street rods it became apparent that many in "the car world" hate these. Sad but true.

I talked to just about the only person in my life that likes cars about customs. My friend "murderstang" is about the greatest car builder, fabricator and customizer I have ever met. I asked him "why all the hate toward ultra customs?" Here is what Murderstang thought about it:

Most of their stuff is super out there, almost spaceship like (to me any way). From bubble tops to the super sleek extreme angular cars.  While you don't see many classics like that, Its become huge in the import world. The more crazy your car is the better its received. Check out some of the Veilside body kits they look like something they would created for  what most would consider "today's" future cars

So to kinda go a little deeper into what i was saying. I think the roth and burreas were both trying to make things that no one thought possible. Like "what if" cars.... what if it had no roof or what if it had a rear mount engine. I think that these types of ideas are so extreme to the car culture that a lot of people can't wrap their minds around it. I mean if you were to ask a person or a few people what a mustang looks like, they will have a fairly clear picture and similar answer of what it "should" look like. BUT, ask that same person/people what would a car from the moon look like the answer would be wildly different. In that respect Their styles were almost a love hate and the amount of work to create something that different then anything else makes it impossible for most to duplicate it. Now do I think their style so to speak is dead? No. I think its alive in a new form, imports. Some call it "rice" but there are others who love it. The kits can make a standard rx7 or honda look like something that came from an anime flick. And with todays tech its no the small fortune it'd take to completely chop and channel a classic muscle car. Personally I think some of the stuff coming out of Japan is a little, lets say "whacky" but some are down right amazing. I think it invokes the same emotion of "what if" that most other car genres have lean away from.

Thanks to Murderstang for rapping with me about my custom car lust. To me they represent all that a car should be. Will I ever get one of these insane custom cars of my own? Probably not, but a man can dream. I guess that's what makes me the Eternal WannaBe Hotrodder.