The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

So, first things first I recently got my old Nissan D21 pickup back from my friend Murderstang. If you remember a few posts ago I exclaimed that hell had in fact frozen over and I had sold my Nissan D21 that I had owned since 1995. Long story short, he wanted a bigger truck and i was in the market so BAM Nissan is back. now on to the story...

Bought the truck on Saturday and was so excited to get it back. Murderstang had done some keen upgrades and work to it while in his care. I knew i couldn't drive it and would have to wait to title it until the dreaded DMV was open during the week. No biggie, i can wait. So the first available time slot for a much on the go person was Wednesday at 8:15am. Read all about what i needed in hand and off we go to the DMV.

So, remember the title of this post (see above...)? Yeah, we couldn't remember if BOTH names were on the original title or if it was me or the misses or ????? I was all like "Leave it blank, the kind employee at the DMV will help us straighten it all out". Flash forward to the bureaucratic kick in the nuts i received as i handed over the papers with glee, just full of joy that i would get to drive my truck to work that day. See unbeknownst to me and the misses this tiny blank space on the title meant NO TRUCK FOR YOU! The government sponsored paperwork Nazi had seen his opening to dash the dreams of said wannabe hotrodder that sat in front of him.  And DASH DREAMS HE DID!

See, the truth is any government agency exists only to spread pain and agony on the citizens and blind them with confusing haphazard red tape and nonsense. This keeps the general masses from realizing that their wages and buying power have been on a steady decline since the 1970s whilst cost of goods and services doubles about every 15 minutes or so. With a grinch inspired smile he handed back the title along with another paper that had to be filled out from my friend Murder Stang (who by the way works 2 jobs and is insanely busy). Knowing the chances of me getting this crap filled out within the next year or so is about the same as me going and punching out Mike Tyson the rage builds and my only recourse is to leave and try to limit my cursing to 100 or less.

So, long story short never ever expect any help from any government employee. If they had come into their position with joy in their heart that has long since been crushed by angry confused patrons and overbearing unbending laws about their useless pieces of paper. Whether leaning on a government shovel or sitting behind a drab grey government cubical your encounter will be unpleasant. Just try your best to avoid at all costs.

Ed Roth's fleeting time in the sun

It is probably no big surprise that I am a huge Ed Roth fan. Growing up Ratfink defined cool and custom and car culture. There is a pretty big love/hate divide in the hotrod world toward the custom cars he created but nobody, and I mean NOBODY, hates on Ed Roth for his iconic influence on hot rod culture.

Just knowing about Ed Roth from the grotesque caricatures he created on shirts and hats of the 60s and 70s only gives a very slight insight into the man. So I set out to learn more about the almighty Roth the old fashioned way... reading. For you younger folks looking at this post "reading" is a thing that people used to do before movies, youtubes and vine clips. As I read and learned more and more about the wild ride that was Ed Roth's life one thing really struck me as insane... his hot rod shop was only in existence for 11 years. Yup, 1959 - 1970 was the run of his shop at 4616 Slauson Avenue in Maywood, California.

Imagine being a genre defining icon that changed what future generations considered possible in custom car culture closing your shop and becoming a sign painter for a berry farm. How is that even possible? To me it is mind bending how fragile success can be. I always imagined that when an artist or musician "makes it big" they are set for life and that my friends could not be farther from the truth. As I learned more and more about Ed Roth it seems that his life was really broken into disjointed segments, each completely separate from the others.

I realize that a book is one persons interpretation of a person or event so it cannot be taken as gospel but there must be some truth to the accounts as they often overlap. All I know is for one person to shake up the custom car world so completely I wish his time in the spotlight would have been longer. I also wish I could have met the man and thanked him for his contributions. But as my late great father would have said... "Shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which builds up fastest."

Now For Some RAT FINK!

I know... it has been like MONTHS AND MONTHS since I posted anything on here. Not sure why, I guess the dog days of saving money for a car I might never get is weighing on me. Lucky for you Dr. Morbius (from our many many podcasts) can't stand watching the tumbleweeds roll by on this slowly dying blog. He sent me these awesome Ed Roth RAT FINK comics... ENJOY!

Maybe I Need To Evaluate My Strategy

 

War Inside My Head

So, I went to an auto auction in Zepherhills Florida last weekend. I woke up early and drove over with a pocket full of cash and a mind full of dreams. As I walked the car corral I didn't see anything that really jumped out at me. There was a pretty wicked 67 Ford Gasser that looked like a beast until I opened the hood and saw it was all show and no go. Sorry bro, gassers are supposed to be smelly ugly beasts that have about as much engine hanging out of the hood as they do under it, not some lame ass 302 with a sad little 2 barrel carb. But whatever, it was early and I had the auction to go to.

As I sit down and look over the sheet to see which one of these little beauties would be taking my hard earned cash I noticed there was about 10 golf carts for sale, odd but whatever. Auctions are kinda like a rolling carnival of lawless oddities. In my little pea brain I am busy doing the internal math that will keep me in the good graces of the accounting department. Because the other interesting thing about Auctions is they pretty much charge everyone for everything, buyers premiums, sellers premiums... hell I think there is a "being alive fee" in there somewhere. After about 30 minutes of hearing the barker go over about a million things and plug everything under the sun he finally starts.

An elderly man sits next to me as the auction kicks off. He is writing everything down on his paper... what the bids go for and if they sell or not. Nothing is selling, i mean NOTHING. I look at him and say "what the hell is going on here?" He exclaims that for the most part only about 10% of the cars in an auction actually sell because everything carries a reserve price.

About 30 cars into this 60 car auction I have seen about all I need to see. Oddly enough the very thing that represents actual free market has perverted into complete and utter bullshit. Auctions should be the complete celebration of free market, wanna know what something is worth? Auction it off... what ever the crowd pays that is exactly what it is worth. Sadly, television and "reality TV" has once again reared its ugly head and created a fantasy world where 1967 Camaros are worth 120k and old British roadsters actually run. So, looks like my money and my effort will be better spent elsewhere. No more auctions for this wannabe hotrodder... time to hit the market and see what I can shake loose.

Vios Con Dios Muchacho

Wasn't sure if I was going to put this up here but then I was like "haven't posted in over a month... better post something ya lazy bastard." SO, last month I said goodbye to a faithful friend of mine. The Nissan D21 pickup that has been with me since 1995 has gone to a new home. We had been through hell and back together, now our paths have separated.

The last few years my old truck seemed to spend more time up on blocks than down on the road. It was a great tight runner day in and day out until I went to be a stranger in a strange land for a year back in 2011. After that year of sitting it ran a bit rough. Not the engine but all the little crap that builds up on a 20+ year old vehicle. I fixed the brakes upon coming home, then the clutch got tight so I bought another car and pulled the transmission... then summer hit and the truck sat. Then I finally finished that up and then got the bright idea to replace the front end bushings as I was mostly just aiming the truck not really steering. As soon as I pulled it apart things took a turn for the worst in my life and again the truck sat. So it sat and sat and sat... hating the Whos.

It became the sad reality that I wasn't really driving my old truck and it needed to go. As I finally finished up the work on the truck my friend Murderstang said he was interested (he also pretty much helped me actually finish the front end job). My neighbor also wanted it but that would have been a bad idea... the day finally came and the truck went. I did my best to hide my feelings as I handed over the keys and took a slug of my beer. Even writing about it now has me feeling sad, saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. This whole post probably has most people scratching their heads and wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Well, a lot but hear me out.

My father, god rest his soul, never got attached to things. He was WAY smarter than me in this regard. In his life a truck was just a truck... use it, get rid of it for better one, wash/rinse/repeat. That is kinda the natural progression and much more accurate for a hot rodder. Getting attached to something inhibits you from cutting it up and blowing it apart and flipping it for something lighter and faster. Hell, in the month that Murderstang has had the truck he already made it look better, fixed the stance and made it a way better truck. He gave it life and made it breathe again. Long story short, gonna try to be more like my dad... gonna try to become less attached to my vehicles. It will be tough but maybe the lesson will be the next awesome car is just around the corner. Until next time all you wannabe hotrodders and actual hotrodders keep the beer cold and the rubber side down.

Well, That Settles That....

So, on Friday I left work and was just cruising along when I see two guys racing it out with fart can Honda Accords. Usually I don't get involved but sometimes I do so I jump on it, drop my S2000 down to 3rd gear and start snapping gears. I rip past them both with ease and kinda ease up on the gas a little to see if they wanna play. Well, they don't both just backed off. So I keep rolling when all of a sudden coming off a highway ramp a new challenger appears. I know I am in TROUBLE with a capital T.

The "Trouble" i am talking about is a very slammed very fast modern super car. I can't even tell you what kind it was other than it was low, fast and made of about 90% carbon fiber. I am not talking about a hacked up civic with the faux carbon fiber wrap... no i am talking about the actual super car made completely of carbon fiber, baby seal tears and thousand dollar bills. So I keep on the throttle, lets see if they wanna play too. Sadly for me, they do.

As I rip past the super car they star running, we are in the front of everyone so I just keep on it. As a rule if there are other cars or we are in a populated area I don't run. Even if I don't care about my well being I am not going to cause harm to an unwilling participant in stupidity. But anyway we are free and clear and it is on like Donkey Kong. I am holding my own pretty good for running a stock 2005 Honda S2000. That is until I hear the growl of the super car's super charger as it kicks in I know I whipped. The mighty exhaust fumes spit out left over horse power and defeat onto my cars windshield as I get a real clear look at the monstrous 24" tires under the beast blasting past me. As we curl over a high overpass curve I see we are both running hard and he isn't even brushing the brakes on this bank curve. I get slightly loose and realize my race is over, I let off and concede. It didn't bother me so much since I was up against a 500k+ car. Win or lose it is always fun to me, I am always wearing a smile and running my best.

In the long run I solved the ancient unsolved mystery... using my "independent study" NO, a stock 2005 Honda S2000 can't beat a 2015 Super Car. And as G.I. Joe has taught us, knowledge is power.

How Many Barns Could There POSSIBLY BE?

So, a while back I first heard the term "Barn Find" and I was like "Wow, that's cool!"
Fast forward a few years and lets just say the Wannabe Hotrodder is a bit more skeptical of the term. Now, by nature I am a very skeptical person. Hell I typeset coupons for a living, disclaimers are in my blood. On the surface the whole premise of a true Barn Find is very interesting and exciting and brings out the inner Indiana Jones in us all. Imagine you happen upon a old forgotten dust filled barn, as the heavy door creaks open the sunlight sends a beam of glory on the time capsule of an unmolested antique car. Almost as if you carry the staff of Ra and you have found THE holy grail of cars (and don't worry, in my mind the car is ALWAYS the worlds greatest find not some run of the mill Nash). Doesn't that just bring a tear to your eye? Sure of course it does! Here is the rub... its all bullshit.

Lets look at the reality of it, barns are the perfect place for rodents, birds, snakes, all kinds of glorious insects and pretty much any other form of wildlife that would like to escape the outside to go. As a youngster I spent many a day slaving away for $1 per hour helping bail hay, barns are just tiny islands of dirt, dust and death. Not exactly a first choice to house an antique car.

Wanna guess the SECOND best place for said beasties to go? Yup, that antique car sitting inside the barn. Just sitting there all full of yummy stuffing and electrical wiring to chew on. At the very least it will be used early and often as the barns rodent outhouse. The other neat fact about cars that sit unused they just kinda rot into themselves. So, regular upkeep and care that everyday cars get from their owners a true "barn find" has been left to rot. They never show any of that on the reality shows created to prop up all this kind of craziness but trust me, a real barn find is going to stink like death and shit and pretty much every single part will be ceased up and total shit.

So why the big ruse by the reality shows and auction houses? What could possibly be the reason for everyone to completely lose their shit at the mere utterance of "Barn Find"? Simple answer is money. Reality shows sell a dream, they show cars being restored in an hour and they relish in the fact that so many viewers will honestly believe that there are incredible glorious rare cars just sitting in every barn across the nation. Might wanna think twice before approaching that farmer, they are often armed and usually drunk. In my opinion your time and money would be much better spend just finding an honest car from an honest hot rod enthusiast. Will it be perfect? Of course not, but there will probably be a lot less rat shit to clean up.

Wannabe Hotrods Excuses Excuses Excuses

Finally got back to laying under that beast of a Nissan Pickup. Lets just say that the "record breaking" temperatures that I heard about on my local TV station day in and day out severely stunted my front end repairs. I am thankful to get back on track... but part of me thinks I might not be able to cut the mustard in the Hot Rod world. What am I talking about? let me explain....

I am not sure if I have what it takes to build a hot rod frame up, that is thousands of hours and probably hundreds of problems. I let that truck front end replacement that should by all accounts have taken me MAYBE 2 weekends end up taking me months! Now there were many things that kept me from getting out there but those are all just bullshit excuses. Reality is I lacked the motivation to get my lazy ass up and get laying under the truck. So how am I going to build a bad ass hotrod? Good question!

In my defense mustering up the desire to work on a Nissan Pickup in the dead of summer while grieving the loss of my father is quite a bit different than wrenching on a 32 highboy or building up a kit shelby cobra. Right? Maybe, but maybe not. The country is filled with garages housing cars that were ripped apart and left laying in pieces never to see the light of day again. Hell, my first attempt when I was a kid ended just that way (see blog post like 1 or 2 or something like that). I am a much different person than I was back then... or am I?

I will say one thing I do very VERY well is fix things. Without sounding arrogant I am pretty sure I restore things very close to the level of Ricks Restorations (see reality TV show that may or may not still be on the air, great show but like all reality shows got a bit to goofy focusing on shenanigans and taking away from the awesome work being done). That is what makes me think my best course of action will be to get a running driving car and just restore it section by section. But after years of cleaning up and fixing what others have done to the machines I restore I would be lying if I didn't say I would be apprehensive. I got so tired of fixing broken pinball machines I bought one new from the factory just so I could see what it is like to have a machine that is actually CARED for, it is glorious. So maybe a Factory Five kit car is the way to go. Sadly this debate will not end here but I do have major concerns about my gumption, my drive, my sticktoitiveness! The last thing this world needs is another beautiful Hot Rod rotting away in a garage with shit piled all over it. THAT I cannot create, so what am I gonna be? Builder or a Loser?

Some cool car toons a Go-Go from Alex Toth

Can you DIG Guess Who A Go-GO?

It's All Fun And Games Until A Fence Jumps In Front Of Your Truck

 

Windmills of my mind

So, if you follow this blog you know I am saving money toward a hotrod (hence the name WANNABE Hotrodder). I am lucky in that I have a regular job and also pick up work from time to time with a local video crew. It is a very cool job that lets me film concerts and the likes. I put all that money away into a fund for my hotrod. It is what they call a "long term goal" I also put away any extra money from buying and selling things, hustling for a dollar.

Recently I took a job taking a van with a huge video screen in the back to a venue like a portable jumbotron. Well, i clipped a brand new chain link fence on the way to the job, took a corner too hard and CRUNCH! Did some damage to the truck but I was WAY lucky in that it didn't ruin the generator or LCD screens. In a massive freak out I managed to get enough help to pull the bar out of the truck side and get to the job. I was embarrassed and angry and upset at myself but as long as the job goes off things will be okay. So, my boss and the owner of the truck were super cool about it (no... they don't read this, being very sincere). Long story short I need to fix the fence and fix the truck and move on in life.

Yesterday the invoice for the fence comes in... $1,265! My heart sunk, this means my long fought hotrod fund will be taking a major hit. Plus I still have more coming for the truck fix. At this point I need to take a very long hard look at if I should even continue? If I am just spinning and spinning never getting ahead then what is the point. Do I take some shit job as a part time stock boy? Do I just keep plugging away or do I abandon my dreams of owning a hotrod all together. I don't know the answer to this question right now. The embarrassing mess is still to fresh and stingy in my brain.

It is my fault and I always own up to my messes, I hit the fence and messed up a truck. The last thing I will ever do is blame others or try to shirk my responsibilities. I am very fortunate my boss and the truck owner are as cool as they are. I definitely will count my blessings but I need to take a shot and a beer or 8 to wash down this shit sandwich and really take a long hard look at what I want. Only time will tell. In the mean time, if you happen to find yourself driving a panel truck would you do the Wannabe Hotrodder a favor and ease up on the cornering... the fence companies are rich enough.

Lets Follow Along With Our Hotrod Idol The UNDERTAKER!

The 900 Pound Rusty Gorilla In The Room

 

Rust In PEACE

Okay, as noted my last entry we need to talk about the current trend to take over the hotrod world... RAT RODS. Now, I beg you gentle reader please realize my opinions are not meant to be hurtful or flame worthy. Just my observations as seen through my little pea brain and expounded through the garbage heap that is the internet.

Greaserama car show in Kansas City last month really filled my veins with gasoline and lit the fire under my butt to get working on my hotrod plan. To be fair the "Hotrod Plan" consists of me saving money to buy a hot rod but "hotrod plan" sounds a bit more cool. The other thing I took away from the trip was although Rat Rods are very cool, much like everything else too much of a good thing kinda becomes a bad thing. What? has the wannabe hotrodder lost his mind? Please... read on...

For many many years car shows were basically fields upon fields filled to the brim with super shiny trailer queen cars that were basically kept behind glass. With sign after sign warning the attendee to not touch said trailer queen. That might float for a one of a kind Ferrari or Super Bee that truly is rare, please don't touch my "rare" 1967 Mustang not so much. Not hating on Mustangs but as I pointed out a few posts ago I am pretty sure you got a free Mustang with a large slurpee purchase in 1967. So as with most things the absurd brings a backlash. So much like punk music came along to murder disco, rat rods came along to murder the trailer queen. Just as punk then itself became the bloated joke of itself so too has "Rat Rods."

The first time one lays eyes on a true rusty ass wicked cool rolling work of art Rat Rod it turns your brain upside down. They are cooler than the other side of the pillow... from the cliche Jack Daniels radiator overflow bottle to the Pabst Blue Ribbon shift they are wacky cool fun. You walk away from that first exposure realizing you have been told a lie and hot rods can be unique and different and they don't always have to be perfect with that little time out dummy leaning against the overly shiny chrome bumper. The first exposure to a Rat Rod excited the car lover and changes your perspective. Fast forward a couple years and you start to realize that first Rat Rod you saw wasn't that innovative and was in fact bound by its own subset of rules for it to be "cool."

My hope is that the market re-adjusts itself back again but lands right in the middle. See, I dream of a world in which you can have a nice shiny hot rod AND drive it too. Imagine that world everyone, you can make a car fast and loud AND not worry about keeping it pristine. That is the happy medium, a car can be beat up and rusty and still be cool but creating fake patina or purposely wrecking something to make it look old and destroyed on purpose is kinda the same as buying a "relic'ed guitar" the hand made scars are fake corporate bullshit conceived to sell an image.

So for the sake of the hotrod world and car lovers everywhere... build your car and do the best you can. If your car gets a dent or scratch so be it, show your scars with pride but please don't ruin your car for a fad. Fads are cheap and soul-less.

Epic Road Trip Retrospective

Turbo Lover

Ok, so as mentioned earlier I recently took an epic 10 day road trip. Got to see where Elvis was born, got to hit up a lot of micro Craft Breweries. In total did 10 days, 10 states and 3600 miles (poor poor rental car). I saw a lot and thought a lot, this is what I came away with after time to reflect.

   1) When planning road trips, you need to spend more than one night in each place. At times I didn't even take the travel case off the stupid hotel cart.
   2) When dreaming about escaping the relentless Florida triple digit heat index either plan higher up in the country or plan the trip for later in the year. Lets just say that the awesome car show in Kansas City was actually HOTTER than my home in Clearwater, FL. It made me sad in pants.
   3) Finally one last thing then on to the car show coverage... Road Trips are COOL AS HELL and should be done way more often. If you haven't planned out a road trip that seems implausible and completely foolish then you haven't lived a full life yet.

   Now on to the car and motorcycle stuff, this is after all THE WANNABE HOTRODDER. Main part of this trip was Greaserama 15 ( http://www.greaserama.com  ). This was a very wild and unique event. Being the 15th one they definitely have their shit together. The cars were wicked cool, the people were fun and everything worked. I didn't get to see as many of the bands as I hoped because i was having a car-gasm and also had some heat stroke issues. I will be doing my next post all about Rat Rods. I came away with a lot of thoughts some good and some eh BUT very cool event!
 
  After that, hit up the Wheels Through Time motorcycle museum in Maggie Valley NC ( http://www.wheelsthroughtime.com/ ). What can I say... hundreds of running preserved awesome historic motorcycles. Met the owner and was really blown away by his down to earth outlook. If you can please PLEASE visit and support Wheels Through Time, one of the most awesome places I have been.

  So, both places gave me a ton of joy and helped shape my perspective. I feel like I could go into Wheels Through Time every day for a year and still see and experience something new. If you ever have the ability i would highly recommend both of these events. So, until next time when the WannaBe tackles the whole "Rat Rod" think... drive fast, live life and keep the rubber side down.

Why Velocity Channel WHY?

   So, I love the Velocity Channel but this weeks Wannabe Hotrodder installment is gonna have to rail against them. The Velocity Channel is a car guys cream dream but as of late I am a bit confused. See, there seems to be a very disturbing trend on the channel, they seem to relish in showing me glorious European roadsters from the 50s and 60s. Show after show dedicated to bringing me barn finds and auction house “deals” of multimillion dollar ferrari and lamborghini. Now, these truly are wonderful cars and have their place in auto history but, and this is a HUGE BUT, I don’t need every singe program to show me all these glorious million dollar cars that I could never own. More and more of the channels programming seems to be leaning toward this and I am not quite sure why? There are tons and TONS of awesome incredible custom cars and hotrods and all kinds of American automobiles that could be part of their programming.
    I don’t want this to be misconstrued as a knock against all those awesome technological marvels. They are freakin’ insanely awesome cars that most any car lover would be thrilled to own. The fact of the matter is I could take all the money that my entire family blood line has and will make for all time and that still wouldn’t be able to buy one, so why am I being shown these cars? I am this channels key demographic. Do they want me to like strive to be able to buy one? I can’t, and even if I did have the money I wouldn’t buy one because that kind of extravagant spending it ludicrous. So what is the end game of the programming? Do they set out to just make their viewers feel like crap? That doesn’t seem like sound programming.
   I guess in the end I just want the Velocity Channel to survive. I love it, and I hope it can stay relevant. Because I fear if it stays on its current trajectory it will fall the way of TechTV and the dodo bird. Just a distant memory of what could have been. Now show us some god damn muscle cars that the common man can relate to already!!!!

So Many Options, So Many Choices... So Much Indecision!

 

When scheming to break into the world of hotrodding how you go about it makes all the difference. See, when shopping for “your hotrod” one way is to just save up some money and go out into the market with an idea of what you like and don’t like. Then you buy a hotrod. Fix it and drive and fix it and drive it, then sell it and wish you hadn’t. That is the most common way people get their hotrods.

I am taking a bit of a different approach. I am trying to narrow down what my goal is long before I make the actual leap into hotrod ownership. By goal I mean like what do I want to do with said hotrod. See, you can buy a car for looks or performance or to show up your neighbor or to get chicks. You can buy a car for just about as many reasons as there are cars, but when it comes to a Hotrod that is often a bit different that just buying a car.

The majority of trouble I have in seeing what my future hotrod is going to be is exactly what the hell is my goal? After driving my current Honda S2000 I can’t see my car having a solid roof anymore. The joy of owning a convertible roadster as a daily driver has forever changed my perception of what is an acceptable car. So first goal is it must be a convertible.

Another major goal is my hotrod has to be FAST. This one is a bit tricky because as eluded to in one of my earlier posts we are in the middle of one of the biggest horsepower wars in history. There are no less than 10 cars being put out right now that are faster than 80% of the “fast hotrods” out there. So how can you aspire to have a super fast hotrod when there are honda Accords out there that routinely smoke older heavier cars. One of the other drawbacks to aspiring to have a FAST hotrod is it is an unattainable goal, you can never be the fastest car out there. There is ALWAYS someone faster. So my goal needs to be realistic. So for my second goal by saying fast I mean, faster than 90% of the common cars out there. Will I be able to beat the crow or the murderstang? No, never but I will be able to put down the next civic with a fart canister muffler that thinks he is a race car driver.

So to review, Goal One needs to be a convertible. Goal Two needs to be fast. The third and final goal I am going to review today is a bit of a sticky situation. I restore a lot of things, old machines and old arcade stuff. After seeing what most people do to their possessions and how they “care for” their stuff I think trying to fix up an old car that has been beaten to shit might be a bit too much for me. I always wanted to buy a running car then work on it as I go to save money but that might not be possible. I am also a bit of a control freak in that I want things done RIGHT! By right I mean by my impossible standards. So that leaves me with buying a high end kit car and building it myself. That is actually the way I am leaning. Top contenders for this are Factory Five’s Shelby Cobra replica or a rolling chassis 1932 ford (there are like a million makers of these). The rub is a kit car is always just gonna be a kit car. But I guess going that route will appease my 3 major goals. But there are still a million options out there, and a million decisions to be made. Until next time, keep the rubber side down!

Sometimes Things Change

I have been counting the days until the Labor Day Weekend Greaserama Punk Rock car show ever since I discovered last years too late to attend. I had never heard of Greaserama before but upon unearthing its glory I couldn't wait!

I built my entire vacation this year around the greaserama event. It will be an epic roadtrip starting from Clearwater Florida, spending a day in Tupelo Mississippi to honor the king then off to Greaserama. I love hotrods, I love Punk Music and I love everything about this event. I know I will have fun there but I am a bit suspicious that if I'm not careful I might gain clarity from this road trip also. As you might have guessed from some of my other posts my Wannabe Hotrod dreams are as varied as can be. There are a few contenders that are always present but maybe just maybe this zig zagging trip will give me clarity and direction. Will seeing all the pre-1965 bad ass hotrods influence my future? Maybe. How could it not?

After the Greaserama festival it is off to St. Louis, then Nashville, then Louisville... then finally Ashville as I have been dying to see the Wheels Through Time motorcycle museum from the "what's in the barn" television show. It would be pretty cool to meet Dale. So the road trip will have cars and motorcycles and Elvis and baseball bats and a crap ton of record shop and microbrew stops along the way. Rented a big ass lincoln for the trip... just counting the days until I see America and hopefully gain some much needed clarity. Mostly just gonna meet some cool hotrodders and enjoy the ride. Anything else will just be a bonus. See you soon Los Punk Rods!

The Wannabe ULTRA-CUSTOM Hotrodder?

I gotta admit that although I love hotrods my heart truly lies with CUSTOMS. To me George Barris and Ed Roth were gods among men. If I could drive a bubble topped fiberglass spaceship to work every day I would. I have read a great deal about Ed Roth, I seem to have a fascination about him and his work. From going on various forums and websites about hotrods and street rods it became apparent that many in "the car world" hate these. Sad but true.

I talked to just about the only person in my life that likes cars about customs. My friend "murderstang" is about the greatest car builder, fabricator and customizer I have ever met. I asked him "why all the hate toward ultra customs?" Here is what Murderstang thought about it:

Most of their stuff is super out there, almost spaceship like (to me any way). From bubble tops to the super sleek extreme angular cars.  While you don't see many classics like that, Its become huge in the import world. The more crazy your car is the better its received. Check out some of the Veilside body kits they look like something they would created for  what most would consider "today's" future cars

So to kinda go a little deeper into what i was saying. I think the roth and burreas were both trying to make things that no one thought possible. Like "what if" cars.... what if it had no roof or what if it had a rear mount engine. I think that these types of ideas are so extreme to the car culture that a lot of people can't wrap their minds around it. I mean if you were to ask a person or a few people what a mustang looks like, they will have a fairly clear picture and similar answer of what it "should" look like. BUT, ask that same person/people what would a car from the moon look like the answer would be wildly different. In that respect Their styles were almost a love hate and the amount of work to create something that different then anything else makes it impossible for most to duplicate it. Now do I think their style so to speak is dead? No. I think its alive in a new form, imports. Some call it "rice" but there are others who love it. The kits can make a standard rx7 or honda look like something that came from an anime flick. And with todays tech its no the small fortune it'd take to completely chop and channel a classic muscle car. Personally I think some of the stuff coming out of Japan is a little, lets say "whacky" but some are down right amazing. I think it invokes the same emotion of "what if" that most other car genres have lean away from.

Thanks to Murderstang for rapping with me about my custom car lust. To me they represent all that a car should be. Will I ever get one of these insane custom cars of my own? Probably not, but a man can dream. I guess that's what makes me the Eternal WannaBe Hotrodder.

You can’t see the forest for the trees

Not gonna lie, it's been hard to focus on things since the passing of my father. Hard to see the future, hard to make a decisive plan, hard to care. The good thing is my hot rod fund is set to automatically pull money from each check into it without my intervention which is a plus because I have been in a funk. I try to visit sites and keep reading about Roth and the monthly hotrod magazine but I haven't wrenched on anything for a few months. I know I have to get off my lazy ass and get back to what I love but it is hard. I know it will come, it isn't something that can be forced.

I was reading a long thread on a different site that posed "what is a hotrod" and being the internet the answers ranged from Troll bait to logical. I have to admit I never thought about it, my child eyes vision of a "hotrod" is anything that has been modified to be faster or "hotrodded." The vast majority seem to say any supped up car that is Pre-WWII is a "real hotrod." Not quite sure where or why that would be the determining factor but most of the clan nodded and said yup that's the real truth.

This does bring up a flaw in my conscious or personality, I never ever care about the sub-genre within a genre. To me metal music is metal music, don't need the 78 million sub-genre of Norwegian scream core... metal is metal. So when posed with the "what is a hotrod" topic I was like anything faster than stock. Boy am I naive, to a fault. Long story short when you are reading this blog please know that my definition of a Hotrod is pretty much any car made faster. In my world pretty much anything can be hotrodded if you invest stupid amounts of money for no reason other than to say "mine is faster" then it's a hotrod.

Make A Model Or Buy A Model?

So, as i trudge along in my tiny pea brain mulling over what will turn me from WANNABE Hotrodder to an ACTUAL Hotrodder a couple prime candidates continually pop into the first few spots. Obviously to right the wrongs of my past a 1969 Pontiac Firebird comes up in the top 5 picks. The 2 that continually flip flop between the top and the second spot are a 1965 Cobra Replica and a 1932 Hi-boy Ford Roadster.

One of the problems with both of these choices is they would have to be KIT CARS. If you don't know what that is please casually look slightly above this sentence to the pile of parts in the image above, not imagine those are sitting on the floor in front of you. BAM, that's a kit car. It is basically a model car in life size form that you can like drive when you are done. There are numerous pros and cons to a kit car... lets look at them shall we? Sure, why not.

I would love to own a steel bodied 1932 ford or a true 1965 Shelby cobra but as reviewed in one of my earlier posts I didn't see any uncashed million dollar checks in my name laying around so that is out. I had originally figured on buying someone else's running driving car then just fixing and customizing as I go. That is a very nice economically sound way to do it, gets me into a car for less money. Biggest problem with that plan is I am a bit of a fussy control freak that needs everything to be perfect or it is completely wrong. That is still not out of the question but I need to be sure the project is right for me.

My other choice is to go with a brand new kit car from a really good maker and build it myself. This seems like it would be the best option BUT it would add quite a bit to the hotrod build and most definitely cause me to lose money. It would ensure that the car would be perfect for me because I would be making every choice every step of the way. One of the biggest issues is at the end of the day, after you drop $30k - $40k+ you have a kit car. No matter how nice, no matter what components are used you have a kit car that commands $18k at best in the used market.

That's the rub, do I want to buy in at the used market price and just fix and drive someone else's kit car? Do I over invest and build my own kit car or do I buy an actual car from an actual car company and make a hotrod? I don't have the answer... this is the part where you have to like turn off your brain and forget what makes sense and follow your heart. Hmmmm... where does my heart lay?

Back In The Saddle Again

I learned a valuable lesson recently, at great personal loss. Last week my father passed away. We were best friends, did a lot of stuff together and shared lots of laughs along the 45 years we shared. Now, I am not going to say we shared hotrods because honestly my father could care less about cars. He was in that 98% of the world that view cars as transportation and nothing more. Where I got my Hot Rod lust is beyond me but I digress....

Upon my fathers passing it dawned on me that I better get my ass in gear because time is fleeting. My father did a lot of awesome stuff in his 74 years on this earth... married to my mother for 51 years, together they raised 2 kids and put them through college. They retired early and traveled the country in a 5th wheel camper working at state parks. He and my mother were vegetarians, did weight lifting and yoga and tried to laugh and share joy every day. They celebrated life and touched everyone they knew. I need to learn from my father, I need to celebrate life and more than that I need to get a plan. They didn't do all this awesome stuff by "winging it" they saved and planned and did whatever they needed to get where they wanted to go. I need to learn from my parents and make sure that I get where I need to go sooner rather than later!

At this point you might be saying to yourself... what the hell does any of this have to do with being a Wannabe Hot Rodder? Everything, and nothing. It means I need to get that hotrod I am pining for and I need to get it NOW. It means I need to knock down the barriers and ensure that I do all the little stupid things in the way of getting said Hot Rod. It means I personally need to never ever put something off, as putting off means it may never come. So, in honor of my father whom I love and care for dearly I am pulling up my boot straps and kicking as much ass as I can every moment of every day. He was a great man, and I need to ensure that I honor his teachings and become a great man. Come hell or high water, the wannabe hotrodder will become THE HOTRODDER! Please raise your glass and say a prayer for a fallen hero. My dad - R.I.P. 06/10/2015