The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

So, first things first I recently got my old Nissan D21 pickup back from my friend Murderstang. If you remember a few posts ago I exclaimed that hell had in fact frozen over and I had sold my Nissan D21 that I had owned since 1995. Long story short, he wanted a bigger truck and i was in the market so BAM Nissan is back. now on to the story...

Bought the truck on Saturday and was so excited to get it back. Murderstang had done some keen upgrades and work to it while in his care. I knew i couldn't drive it and would have to wait to title it until the dreaded DMV was open during the week. No biggie, i can wait. So the first available time slot for a much on the go person was Wednesday at 8:15am. Read all about what i needed in hand and off we go to the DMV.

So, remember the title of this post (see above...)? Yeah, we couldn't remember if BOTH names were on the original title or if it was me or the misses or ????? I was all like "Leave it blank, the kind employee at the DMV will help us straighten it all out". Flash forward to the bureaucratic kick in the nuts i received as i handed over the papers with glee, just full of joy that i would get to drive my truck to work that day. See unbeknownst to me and the misses this tiny blank space on the title meant NO TRUCK FOR YOU! The government sponsored paperwork Nazi had seen his opening to dash the dreams of said wannabe hotrodder that sat in front of him.  And DASH DREAMS HE DID!

See, the truth is any government agency exists only to spread pain and agony on the citizens and blind them with confusing haphazard red tape and nonsense. This keeps the general masses from realizing that their wages and buying power have been on a steady decline since the 1970s whilst cost of goods and services doubles about every 15 minutes or so. With a grinch inspired smile he handed back the title along with another paper that had to be filled out from my friend Murder Stang (who by the way works 2 jobs and is insanely busy). Knowing the chances of me getting this crap filled out within the next year or so is about the same as me going and punching out Mike Tyson the rage builds and my only recourse is to leave and try to limit my cursing to 100 or less.

So, long story short never ever expect any help from any government employee. If they had come into their position with joy in their heart that has long since been crushed by angry confused patrons and overbearing unbending laws about their useless pieces of paper. Whether leaning on a government shovel or sitting behind a drab grey government cubical your encounter will be unpleasant. Just try your best to avoid at all costs.

Ed Roth's fleeting time in the sun

It is probably no big surprise that I am a huge Ed Roth fan. Growing up Ratfink defined cool and custom and car culture. There is a pretty big love/hate divide in the hotrod world toward the custom cars he created but nobody, and I mean NOBODY, hates on Ed Roth for his iconic influence on hot rod culture.

Just knowing about Ed Roth from the grotesque caricatures he created on shirts and hats of the 60s and 70s only gives a very slight insight into the man. So I set out to learn more about the almighty Roth the old fashioned way... reading. For you younger folks looking at this post "reading" is a thing that people used to do before movies, youtubes and vine clips. As I read and learned more and more about the wild ride that was Ed Roth's life one thing really struck me as insane... his hot rod shop was only in existence for 11 years. Yup, 1959 - 1970 was the run of his shop at 4616 Slauson Avenue in Maywood, California.

Imagine being a genre defining icon that changed what future generations considered possible in custom car culture closing your shop and becoming a sign painter for a berry farm. How is that even possible? To me it is mind bending how fragile success can be. I always imagined that when an artist or musician "makes it big" they are set for life and that my friends could not be farther from the truth. As I learned more and more about Ed Roth it seems that his life was really broken into disjointed segments, each completely separate from the others.

I realize that a book is one persons interpretation of a person or event so it cannot be taken as gospel but there must be some truth to the accounts as they often overlap. All I know is for one person to shake up the custom car world so completely I wish his time in the spotlight would have been longer. I also wish I could have met the man and thanked him for his contributions. But as my late great father would have said... "Shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which builds up fastest."

You May Have Noticed... This Site Is DEAD AS SHIT!

One of the problems with saving toward a long term goal is it seems like the reality of achieving said goal feels like it will never be. I have long maintained that my goal was to get a 32 ford (fiberglass wannabe since a real one is like forget it) or a factory five Shelby Cobra kit car. Seems simple enough, get a goal and save for it. But then since you don't really think it is ever going to come you "borrow" some money for a kick ass guitar, or you slam a truck into a fence basically taking away all the money you had been getting from a side job for like 2 years.

Long story short, you lose focus. I am still putting money away but when you start thinking that you will be able to get your hotrod around 2018 give or take that sucks. In a moment of weakness I started looking around for other options, a Datsun Fairlady or a VW manx were some of the contenders that popped. Should i just start wheeling and dealing like I do with guitars? just keep buying and selling Until I work my way up? Part of me says yes start wheeling and dealing and having fun with lots of different cars. The other stupid logical part of me says stay the course and get the one you want.

Truthfully there is no real "right" answer. I guess time will tell. I would say I will try to be more dedicated in keeping this site updated but we all know how full of shit that lie would be. I WILL try but you know your wannabe hotrodder is just that, a wannabe.

Vios Con Dios Muchacho

Wasn't sure if I was going to put this up here but then I was like "haven't posted in over a month... better post something ya lazy bastard." SO, last month I said goodbye to a faithful friend of mine. The Nissan D21 pickup that has been with me since 1995 has gone to a new home. We had been through hell and back together, now our paths have separated.

The last few years my old truck seemed to spend more time up on blocks than down on the road. It was a great tight runner day in and day out until I went to be a stranger in a strange land for a year back in 2011. After that year of sitting it ran a bit rough. Not the engine but all the little crap that builds up on a 20+ year old vehicle. I fixed the brakes upon coming home, then the clutch got tight so I bought another car and pulled the transmission... then summer hit and the truck sat. Then I finally finished that up and then got the bright idea to replace the front end bushings as I was mostly just aiming the truck not really steering. As soon as I pulled it apart things took a turn for the worst in my life and again the truck sat. So it sat and sat and sat... hating the Whos.

It became the sad reality that I wasn't really driving my old truck and it needed to go. As I finally finished up the work on the truck my friend Murderstang said he was interested (he also pretty much helped me actually finish the front end job). My neighbor also wanted it but that would have been a bad idea... the day finally came and the truck went. I did my best to hide my feelings as I handed over the keys and took a slug of my beer. Even writing about it now has me feeling sad, saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. This whole post probably has most people scratching their heads and wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Well, a lot but hear me out.

My father, god rest his soul, never got attached to things. He was WAY smarter than me in this regard. In his life a truck was just a truck... use it, get rid of it for better one, wash/rinse/repeat. That is kinda the natural progression and much more accurate for a hot rodder. Getting attached to something inhibits you from cutting it up and blowing it apart and flipping it for something lighter and faster. Hell, in the month that Murderstang has had the truck he already made it look better, fixed the stance and made it a way better truck. He gave it life and made it breathe again. Long story short, gonna try to be more like my dad... gonna try to become less attached to my vehicles. It will be tough but maybe the lesson will be the next awesome car is just around the corner. Until next time all you wannabe hotrodders and actual hotrodders keep the beer cold and the rubber side down.

Epic Road Trip Retrospective

Turbo Lover

Ok, so as mentioned earlier I recently took an epic 10 day road trip. Got to see where Elvis was born, got to hit up a lot of micro Craft Breweries. In total did 10 days, 10 states and 3600 miles (poor poor rental car). I saw a lot and thought a lot, this is what I came away with after time to reflect.

   1) When planning road trips, you need to spend more than one night in each place. At times I didn't even take the travel case off the stupid hotel cart.
   2) When dreaming about escaping the relentless Florida triple digit heat index either plan higher up in the country or plan the trip for later in the year. Lets just say that the awesome car show in Kansas City was actually HOTTER than my home in Clearwater, FL. It made me sad in pants.
   3) Finally one last thing then on to the car show coverage... Road Trips are COOL AS HELL and should be done way more often. If you haven't planned out a road trip that seems implausible and completely foolish then you haven't lived a full life yet.

   Now on to the car and motorcycle stuff, this is after all THE WANNABE HOTRODDER. Main part of this trip was Greaserama 15 ( http://www.greaserama.com  ). This was a very wild and unique event. Being the 15th one they definitely have their shit together. The cars were wicked cool, the people were fun and everything worked. I didn't get to see as many of the bands as I hoped because i was having a car-gasm and also had some heat stroke issues. I will be doing my next post all about Rat Rods. I came away with a lot of thoughts some good and some eh BUT very cool event!
 
  After that, hit up the Wheels Through Time motorcycle museum in Maggie Valley NC ( http://www.wheelsthroughtime.com/ ). What can I say... hundreds of running preserved awesome historic motorcycles. Met the owner and was really blown away by his down to earth outlook. If you can please PLEASE visit and support Wheels Through Time, one of the most awesome places I have been.

  So, both places gave me a ton of joy and helped shape my perspective. I feel like I could go into Wheels Through Time every day for a year and still see and experience something new. If you ever have the ability i would highly recommend both of these events. So, until next time when the WannaBe tackles the whole "Rat Rod" think... drive fast, live life and keep the rubber side down.

So Many Options, So Many Choices... So Much Indecision!

 

When scheming to break into the world of hotrodding how you go about it makes all the difference. See, when shopping for “your hotrod” one way is to just save up some money and go out into the market with an idea of what you like and don’t like. Then you buy a hotrod. Fix it and drive and fix it and drive it, then sell it and wish you hadn’t. That is the most common way people get their hotrods.

I am taking a bit of a different approach. I am trying to narrow down what my goal is long before I make the actual leap into hotrod ownership. By goal I mean like what do I want to do with said hotrod. See, you can buy a car for looks or performance or to show up your neighbor or to get chicks. You can buy a car for just about as many reasons as there are cars, but when it comes to a Hotrod that is often a bit different that just buying a car.

The majority of trouble I have in seeing what my future hotrod is going to be is exactly what the hell is my goal? After driving my current Honda S2000 I can’t see my car having a solid roof anymore. The joy of owning a convertible roadster as a daily driver has forever changed my perception of what is an acceptable car. So first goal is it must be a convertible.

Another major goal is my hotrod has to be FAST. This one is a bit tricky because as eluded to in one of my earlier posts we are in the middle of one of the biggest horsepower wars in history. There are no less than 10 cars being put out right now that are faster than 80% of the “fast hotrods” out there. So how can you aspire to have a super fast hotrod when there are honda Accords out there that routinely smoke older heavier cars. One of the other drawbacks to aspiring to have a FAST hotrod is it is an unattainable goal, you can never be the fastest car out there. There is ALWAYS someone faster. So my goal needs to be realistic. So for my second goal by saying fast I mean, faster than 90% of the common cars out there. Will I be able to beat the crow or the murderstang? No, never but I will be able to put down the next civic with a fart canister muffler that thinks he is a race car driver.

So to review, Goal One needs to be a convertible. Goal Two needs to be fast. The third and final goal I am going to review today is a bit of a sticky situation. I restore a lot of things, old machines and old arcade stuff. After seeing what most people do to their possessions and how they “care for” their stuff I think trying to fix up an old car that has been beaten to shit might be a bit too much for me. I always wanted to buy a running car then work on it as I go to save money but that might not be possible. I am also a bit of a control freak in that I want things done RIGHT! By right I mean by my impossible standards. So that leaves me with buying a high end kit car and building it myself. That is actually the way I am leaning. Top contenders for this are Factory Five’s Shelby Cobra replica or a rolling chassis 1932 ford (there are like a million makers of these). The rub is a kit car is always just gonna be a kit car. But I guess going that route will appease my 3 major goals. But there are still a million options out there, and a million decisions to be made. Until next time, keep the rubber side down!

Make A Model Or Buy A Model?

So, as i trudge along in my tiny pea brain mulling over what will turn me from WANNABE Hotrodder to an ACTUAL Hotrodder a couple prime candidates continually pop into the first few spots. Obviously to right the wrongs of my past a 1969 Pontiac Firebird comes up in the top 5 picks. The 2 that continually flip flop between the top and the second spot are a 1965 Cobra Replica and a 1932 Hi-boy Ford Roadster.

One of the problems with both of these choices is they would have to be KIT CARS. If you don't know what that is please casually look slightly above this sentence to the pile of parts in the image above, not imagine those are sitting on the floor in front of you. BAM, that's a kit car. It is basically a model car in life size form that you can like drive when you are done. There are numerous pros and cons to a kit car... lets look at them shall we? Sure, why not.

I would love to own a steel bodied 1932 ford or a true 1965 Shelby cobra but as reviewed in one of my earlier posts I didn't see any uncashed million dollar checks in my name laying around so that is out. I had originally figured on buying someone else's running driving car then just fixing and customizing as I go. That is a very nice economically sound way to do it, gets me into a car for less money. Biggest problem with that plan is I am a bit of a fussy control freak that needs everything to be perfect or it is completely wrong. That is still not out of the question but I need to be sure the project is right for me.

My other choice is to go with a brand new kit car from a really good maker and build it myself. This seems like it would be the best option BUT it would add quite a bit to the hotrod build and most definitely cause me to lose money. It would ensure that the car would be perfect for me because I would be making every choice every step of the way. One of the biggest issues is at the end of the day, after you drop $30k - $40k+ you have a kit car. No matter how nice, no matter what components are used you have a kit car that commands $18k at best in the used market.

That's the rub, do I want to buy in at the used market price and just fix and drive someone else's kit car? Do I over invest and build my own kit car or do I buy an actual car from an actual car company and make a hotrod? I don't have the answer... this is the part where you have to like turn off your brain and forget what makes sense and follow your heart. Hmmmm... where does my heart lay?

Back In The Saddle Again

I learned a valuable lesson recently, at great personal loss. Last week my father passed away. We were best friends, did a lot of stuff together and shared lots of laughs along the 45 years we shared. Now, I am not going to say we shared hotrods because honestly my father could care less about cars. He was in that 98% of the world that view cars as transportation and nothing more. Where I got my Hot Rod lust is beyond me but I digress....

Upon my fathers passing it dawned on me that I better get my ass in gear because time is fleeting. My father did a lot of awesome stuff in his 74 years on this earth... married to my mother for 51 years, together they raised 2 kids and put them through college. They retired early and traveled the country in a 5th wheel camper working at state parks. He and my mother were vegetarians, did weight lifting and yoga and tried to laugh and share joy every day. They celebrated life and touched everyone they knew. I need to learn from my father, I need to celebrate life and more than that I need to get a plan. They didn't do all this awesome stuff by "winging it" they saved and planned and did whatever they needed to get where they wanted to go. I need to learn from my parents and make sure that I get where I need to go sooner rather than later!

At this point you might be saying to yourself... what the hell does any of this have to do with being a Wannabe Hot Rodder? Everything, and nothing. It means I need to get that hotrod I am pining for and I need to get it NOW. It means I need to knock down the barriers and ensure that I do all the little stupid things in the way of getting said Hot Rod. It means I personally need to never ever put something off, as putting off means it may never come. So, in honor of my father whom I love and care for dearly I am pulling up my boot straps and kicking as much ass as I can every moment of every day. He was a great man, and I need to ensure that I honor his teachings and become a great man. Come hell or high water, the wannabe hotrodder will become THE HOTRODDER! Please raise your glass and say a prayer for a fallen hero. My dad - R.I.P. 06/10/2015

R.E.S.P.E.C.T... find out what it means to me?

 

Respect

So, as I have discussed before the reason for my hotrod lust re-awakening is my current car. A few years ago I got a Honda S2000 and my "need for speed" has since multiplied a million fold. One of the things that has completely changed is my outlook about hotrods and what makes a "fast car." Growing up in the 70s and 80s meant that the only cars that truly got respect were muscle cars. Big loud heavy chunks of glorious steel. So when the tuner craze hit I pretty much laughed it off and gave it no respect. My opinion has changed dramatically as I now more a "tuner" than I am a "hotrodder."

when I bought my S2000 I did not even realize it was a fast car. I liked the convertible top and since riding a motorcycle in Florida is the same as drunkenly playing Russian roulette I grabbed the next best thing. As I learned how to drive the car and realized the power it has at the higher revving end of the tach I realized what all the Tuner hoopla was all about. Then I fell in love!

For those reading and wondering to themselves... what in the blue hell is this fool talking about? Let me explain. Tuners (for the most part) live in the high revving part of the spectrum to best get maximum power. Where a big block chevy or ford can slap gears in the 5500 range and be flying little light tuner cars like my S2k shoot like a bullet around the 6500 - 8000 range. When I drive it shifting in the normal 3500 to 4500 range it is just a nimble little honda. When i let it scream it is hard to beat.

On my average drive to and from work I am just a regular jerk driving my Honda. About 3 - 4 times per week I am messed with either by another tuner or by a hotrod trying to show off. To be sure I have gotten blasted from time to time and sometimes I am too damn tired and just let it go. More often than not I smash the other car, especially if it is a hotrod. They are just too damn heavy to keep up. Perfect example a couple days ago, a early to mid-eighties malibu with loud pipes starts getting twitchy at a light. I can hear it is a 305 chevy small block from the pipes so i know this guy has no chance if I run him. I let it go until he spins his tires then it is on... I rip thought 1st and 2nd but going light RPM to give the poor chump false hope, then I drop the hammer and rip by him in 4th gear. I still had 2 gears left as his headlights dimmed in the rear view mirror.

That is when I realized I had better build one hell of a hotrod otherwise I will get NO R.E.S.P.E.C.T!

More fads than you can detect with a fad detecting fad machine!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt_zum97kjE

This past weekend I went to a Swap Meet / Car Show held at the world famous Don Garlits Museum. I went with a friend we will call MurderStang. MurderStang is an ACTUAL hotrodder not a wannabe like me so he is always a wealth of information and often has awesome ideas and insight. But I digress, as we walked to and fro looking at all the cars and customs it really struck me how deeply the car culture is struck with fads.

There were a ton of really awesome cars at the show. This show was more about honest hard working driving hotrods. So the field filled with a few trailer queens but for the most part well used cars filled the ranks. That is when i noticed the newest soon to be tired fad... the rat rod. Funny thing about hotrods they are really slaves to what is cool. Some are tried and true timeless classics for sure. Never met a 57 Chevy i didn't like. When you see a lot of different cars in these shows it sticks out when a car was built. 

The billet crazy of the 90s, the zz top fueled color-gasms from the 80s and now the patina drenched rat rod craze. I have nothing against all of these movements in the car world, hell I am a wannabe at this point so I have no room to judge. What does weigh heavy in my tiny pea brain is when I finally do get my hotrod and when I do start building and customizing it how do I avoid creating a fad filled car? I don't have the money to build and rebuild a car. Yes, I realize that hotrods command special handling and obviously driving one on a regular basis will require lots of fixing and re-fixing.

I guess it comes down to building a car that is timeless in design and powerful enough to not get pushed around. For me anyway, others will have way different goals. When I think of the cars I drool over getting they all have my flare but don't go overboard.

Wheels seem to be the hardest hit when it comes to fads. The first dead give away to when a car was built is the wheels. Second is the paint, man does paint show fads more than anything! I often think if you paint a car solid color and possibly close to a factory color you are safe. If you start putting stripes and ribbon stripes over ghost flames over pinstriping in neon colors well you might want to just start putting money away for the repaint now. That is part of the problem, custom cars are mostly one-off vehicles built by one person for one person. Judging if it is cool or not should not really come into play but obviously it does. And just because something is cool today does not mean it will be tomorrow. Just ask the guys riding the OCC choppers how much street cred they get. For now I will only dream and scheme, dodging fads and hoping for my hotrod to arrive.

JESUS BUILT MY HOTROD!

Hotrods they are a'changing! I have a modest little Honda S2000 daily driver that is pushing around 265 HP. It is my every day drive to work car. It is fast, not like break your back fast but damn fast. It was made in 2005... way back when 265 horsepower sounded impressive. Since then I have seen the average horse power of consumer cars climb and climb. There are freakin' boring ass family cars running 300 HP from the factory. Now, would they beat mine in an honest street race? Probably not as there are about a billion and one things that contribute to who crosses the finish line first and most family cars ain't got em. BUT, with the new technology pushing the boundaries more and more every day hotrods have to be absolute monsters to even get noticed anymore. It is not uncommon for a hotrod to hit 600 - 800 or more horsepower to seem respectable. Hell, my friend Murder Stang is shooting for above 1000 horsepower on his vintage mustang. It is no wonder, Hellcats come stock with 707 hp from the factory and every other major car company is racing (literally) to beat that number.

Hotrods with outrageous horsepower are not surprising as the true hotrod culture has always taken the lightest and fastest and made it part of their car. Some of the purists out there bitch and complain if you bolt anything new on an old car but the harsh reality is hotrodders increase power and speed any way possible. You can keep your "Pre-blah blah blah or nothing" bullshit along with numbers matching and patina. With the modern horsepower war ramping up from all sides how will the garage tree mechanic or wannabe hotrodder keep up? I guess the same way we always have, run what ya brought until you can beg borrow and steal the next performance part. 

So, if you are sitting at the light next to a goofball 4 door accord don't laugh too hard as the kid driving it tachs the engine and cranks up his Skrillex CD. It just might make a fool of you unless you put the pedal all the way to the metal and ride out every gear. In traditional Wannabe fashion I will continue to dream and scheme all the ways my car WILL be the fastest... that is until I own my hotrod and it isn't. Till next time keep the rubber side down and rev it loud.

Some Inspirational Pictures from Big Daddy Don Garlits

Click Picture for Inspirational Music

We took a trip to the Famous Don Garlits Museum a few months ago. Rather than overwhelm with a million pictures I will just be dropping a couple in from time to time to inspire and highlight some of the wicked cool collection they have rocking over there. if you have never been there and live in Florida I would suggest it. Here is a link to the Museum - http://www.garlits.com/

- and yes, that is the wannabe hotrodders big melon in the way of the awesome car in the 3rd shot.
just DROOLING!